By Kit-Bacon Gressitt

(My thanks to Brian Brown and the National Organization for Marriage for providing the majority of this fable’s dialogue and a significant amount of the narrative — from the last four year’s of NOM emails, media releases and website content, for example, click here …)

In 2010, California Federal Court Judge Vaughn Walker ruled that Proposition 8 is unconstitutional. He determined that the ballot measure, which defines marriage as only between a man and a woman, violates the Equal Protection and Due Process clauses of the 14th Amendment of the U.S. Constitution.

Leaders of the anti-same-sex marriage lobby were crushed by the decision, although they continued to tilt at homophobic windmills until the final legal blow to their cause smote them impotent, along with the National Organization for Marriage (NOM). But as time passed, they saw that traditional marriages were not, after all, diminished by same-sex marriages. Realizing the error of their rationale, they all trotted off to happier pursuits. All but one, that is. Brian Brown, ill-equipped for mainstream employment, struggled to redefine NOM’s mission, to reframe his marriage message, a message that would support a new cause and his continued income. And so, one day, he was found doggedly pursuing his mission along the streets of Fallbrook the Friendly Village. …

One blustery Wednesday afternoon, in a burst of unprecedented rejection, Brian Brown, president of NOM, struck down the request of a senior citizen who was seeking assistance to cross Elder Street in Fallbrook, California

“I only asked him for an arm to lean on, to step down from the curb,” said Rose Kaminski to the chubby Eagle Scout who came to her rescue. The petite octogenarian wore a mint-green polyester pantsuit and sneaks, the balls of her Peds, a perfectly matching hue. She knew she looked just lovely. “It’s a special day for me, so I’m trying to look my best. But my, oh my, that young man nearly jumped out of his skin when I asked for his help — I just had to pick up my marriage license, oy! The little nebbish, I guess he’s not used to folks being friendly. Between us, Bubele — shush, now, you didn’t hear this from me — he favors the Pillsbury Dough Boy, don’t you know.” She chuckled as she tucked a Macy’s shopping bag under one green arm and with the other hand clasped the Eagle Scout’s elbow. The poor boychick, she noticed, was devastated by pronounced acne. A little chicken soup, maybe? she wondered, as together they toddled across the street.

Meanwhile, pedestrians waylaid by Brown’s boorishness gave witness to a growing crowd that his unthinkable behavior did in fact happen, as wrong and outrageous as it was: an openly Christian man, throwing a little old lady’s harmless request into a dustbin like so many pieces of dirty paper, declaring his imperial will should trump her plea. Although, as the people chatted among themselves, no one was quite sure what that will was.

“Why would he do it?” they murmured to one another. “How could he?” And then, “Brian, Brian!” they called to him. “You must explain yourself, Brian!”

Brian considered turning tail and running like hell to his “Autumn for Marriage 2011: One Man, One Woman of Child-Bearing Age” tour bus, but he took so long to consider his exit that he was surrounded before his legs got pumping. And by then, the group was rapidly expanding, thanks to the residents of Shady Oaks Rest Home who had hit the street for their daily power walk.

Brian eyed the fomenting mass, whispered a prayer, rolled up his sleeves and said, “I’ll take your questions now.”

“How could you refuse such a benign request, Brian?” asked Cecil Adams, an adjunct professor of philosophy at Palomar Community College; although at the moment, he was moonlighting as a skateboarding pizza delivery person, a pragmatic move he would soon abandon with a modicum of nostalgia, as spring enrollment increased at the school. “All that sweet old gal wanted was a hand down the curb, Brian. And on her wedding day! Where’s your soul? Don’t you aspire to a higher plane? What gives, man?”

Brian put his right hand to his heart, NOM’s polling having indicated that 67 percent of respondents interpreted the gesture as strongly positive.

“Now, let me just preface this with my absolute assurance that I bear no ill will toward senior citizens,” Brian intoned. “I harbor no prejudice in my heart. I have senior citizens who are friends and family! Nonetheless, that woman is headed to meet her partner at Town Hall and apply for a marriage license, and that jeopardizes the definition of marriage across this great nation of ours. Senior-citizen marriage is threatening to strip millions of Americans of our core definition of marriage — of our right to traditional marriage!”

“Oh, yeah?” the philosophic pizza person asked as he passed out slices to the agitated crowd. “How so?”

“Senior-citizen marriage will undermine the institution of marriage as we’ve known it for millennia. That’s why I’m — we’re — on this bus tour — to make it clear that the people of this country will not be silenced and that activist judges who try to defend senior-citizen marriage do not have the right to impose their views on the people of this country. We need to make it clear to the Supreme Court and we need to make it clear to the out-of-control Congress. Senior-citizen marriage conflicts with marriage’s central purpose — of procreation!”

“Well, yep, she looked a bit old to have a bun in the oven.” Cecil twirled an empty pizza box on one finger and the audience politely applauded. “But you haven’t answered my question: How is senior-citizen marriage threatening to strip millions of Americans of our right to traditional marriage? That smacks of a non sequitur, man.”

“Advocates for senior-citizen marriages are threatening the definition of marriage as we know it. The sheer audacity of senior citizens, wanting to redefine marriage for everyone else, as though it’s their civil right to do so! The sheer ego mania of it is startling to the core, the ah, the very definition of marriage that is the basis of our nation, the procreational purpose that marriage is intended for, one husband, one wife, ah — procreating. You know what I mean.”

“Brian, are you speaking in tongues, man? You’re not making one iota of sense, dude.” Cecil sucked some pizza sauce from the COEXIST tie his former wife had given him for Co-parents Day.

“I know, but our polling indicates that 79 percent of respondents have a very strong positive reaction to statements about protecting their right to traditional marriage, so I’m supposed to say it whenever I get a chance — because you, too, have the right to traditional marriage and your right deserves to be protected from special interests who are trying to redefine it.”

“You take direction well, Brian. Gotta give you credit where credit is due, man. But I’m divorced, and you know senior-citizen marriages don’t hurt anyone else’s. How can you justify all this effort to oppose a problem that doesn’t exist? How can you try to stop seniors from being married? Come on now, guy! They might be a little shriveled, and there is that oldster talcum powder smell, but they’re still human beings. Don’t they deserve the same rights as the rest of us?”

“Yeah, that!” the crowd chimed in.

Brian eyed the riled folks and his sweat glands gushed. “We’re not trying to ban senior-citizen marriage, but we are against redefining marriage. And those people have civil unions at their disposal. Traditional marriage is the exclusive right of a man and a woman for the purpose of procreation. It’s what’s best for children, for families, for the nation!” He pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and stopped the salty flow at his chin. “It is an abomination to redefine marriage as anything else. It’s just wrong. Very wrong. And we will fight back! And we will win! Because senior citizens don’t have the right to redefine marriage for the rest of us. And, and they are too old for, you know, procreation!”

The assembly, comprising a goodly number of senior citizens, drew a collective gasp and stepped back from Brian — that he was imagining them in flagrante was grossing them out. “Damn voyeur,” they whispered, exchanging winks.

“Brian, Brian, Brian!” Cecil said. “Get your mind out of the gutter! Don’t you pay attention to the stats? We are an aging population. Don’t mess with the dominant demographic’s sexuality! The Baby Boomers, man — they might be cruising into their golden years, but they’re still having plenty of nookie.”

Brian shuddered. “Eeuwwww! It’s unthinkable — senior citizens — the death knell of traditional marriage — how can they? — marriage is for pro– procreation! — unthinkable — but when I do think — Sweet, Baby Jesus! — Grams and Granny going at — you know — gyuhhcchhh! — God almighty, it’s — disgusting!!”

A low rumble burbled from the depths of the throng, and Cecil, an intuitive philosopher, leapt back from its center just as the people swarmed Brian, who disappeared amid blazing knock-off purses, rolled newspapers and well-aimed Shady Oaks water bottles.

Cecil thought about stepping into the fray to intervene, but decided to let natural law run its course. Besides, he had to get back to Pizza Hut and explain the disappearance of four extra-larges.

As he skated out of sight, the mob quickly thinned, and Rose returned with a hefty man on her arm. “Did we miss something?” she asked the stragglers.

“Not much,” said Rod “The Rod” Robertson, a retired professional wrestler and occasional birthday party clown. “Just took care of some pipsqueak senior citizenphobe.”

“That nebbish who wouldn’t help me across the street? I told you about him, Bruno. His poor mother, what a disappointment he must’ve been, what a heartache.” She patted her fiancé’s arm. “Not like my Bruno.”

“Yes, Sweetie.” Bruno gave her a reciprocal pat.

“You look just lovely today, Rose,” The Rod said, silently mourning Bruno’s success.

“Thank you, Rod. Aren’t you a mensch. See you at lunch!” Rose waved as she and Bruno strolled up the walk to Shady Oaks. “Well, it takes all kinds, don’t you know, but between us, Bubele — shush, now, you didn’t hear this from me — that young man favors the Pillsbury Dough Boy.”

“Yes, Sweetie, I’d wager he does.” Bruno had heard the story twice before, but he knew how to make an old gal feel good. He gave her a love pinch and said, “Rosie, would you like to take a little nap before the wedding, Sweetie?”

Love,
K-B

Crossposted at San Diego Gay & Lesbian News.

Note: A different version of this piece was published in 2010.

Special Thanks to JoJo Diggs For Her Choreography!

Special thanks to Ana Beatriz Cholo, of the Courage Campaign, Chris Lilly and the countless volunteers who stepped up to help at the last minute to make this a success.

Courage Campaign gleefully protests Michele Bachmann outside of the California Republican Convention. For more on the Courage Campaign visit the Courage Campaign.

This video is for educational and awareness purposes only. Dancers are dancing to Mad House’s version of Madonna’s Like a Prayer. To purchase this version of the song please visit iTunes!

San Diego’s Pride Parade was Saturday 16 July, and its images are telling.

By Kit-Bacon Gressitt

There are a couple in every crowd.

But these folks were much nicer.

Our first openly gay active duty military contingent joined the parade — yippee!

God is still love.

The parade had a bevy of beauties.

And the Human Rights Campaign billowed.

These folks celebrated on a roll.

And this fellow enjoyed the simple pleasures.

Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays are lifesavers.

The Green Party was there — not sure about the Republican Party.*

Jim and Dale were still celebrating their big day — that’s Pride.

And LGBT seniors were still leading the way.

Some folks tried to promote hate.

But this fellow would have none of it.

And the crowd cheered!

Now, it’s on to equality!

Love,
K-B
* Note! Gloria Johnson reports that the Democrats were also there, as was the Unitarian Universalist Church.

Crossposted at the Ocean Beach Rag.

Fact:  A U.S. citizen falls in love and marries an immigrant. The U.S. citizen can sponsor the immigrant for a visa so they can live together in the US. Right?

Wrong. Because they’re both guys. And that’s the story of Henry Velandia, who is about to be torn apart from his husband, Josh Vandiver, unless we do something.

Watch their Testimony video, and sign the emergency petition to Secretary Napolitano to stop their deportation:

http://www.couragecampaign.org/tornapart

Here are four more facts (these are actually true):

1.     President Obama ordered his administration to stop defending the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), the law that prevents Josh from sponsoring Henry’s visa.

2.     Secretary of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano has the legal authority to stop Henry’s deportation — not to mention the forced separation of 36,000 couples like him and Josh — until DOMA is resolved in the courts. Rep. Rush Holt (D-NJ) recently wrote to the Administration on their behalf.

3.     Henry’s final deportation hearing is scheduled for May 6^th.

4. We have to do something.

Click here to watch their story, and sign Courage Campaign’s joint emergency petition with AllOut.org, an organization working for global LGBT equality.

We started Testimony: Take a Stand to make these stories known so they aren’t ignored. Please watch the video and sign our emergency petition to Sec. Napolitano — before it’s too late.

Together for equality,

Adam Bink
Director of Online Programs, Courage Campaign

California’s Republican U.S. Senate candidate Carly Fiorina died Saturday when her Retire Boxer Money Bomb exploded prematurely, killing Fiorina immediately and injuring a campaign aide. Fiorina, the infamously fired CEO of computer giant Hewlett Packard, was 56.

Distraught and slightly singed campaign manager, Marty Wilson, stood outside Fiorina’s Sacramento campaign headquarters as firefighters extinguished a small fire caused by the explosion.

“We don’t know what happened,” Wilson said. “Carly was getting ready to launch the money bomb email. She’d just put another million bucks into the campaign, but that was it; she wasn’t going to risk any more of her own money, so we really needed contributions. Anyway, the fuse must have been faulty. The thing went off in Carly’s face. It’s gotta be [U.S. Senator Barbara] Boxer’s fault. Or [President Barack] Obama’s. We demand an immediate investigation and an apology to Carly and the California voters, not only for this deliberate assault but for Boxer’s refusal to have an honest and serious debate about the issues during this crucial time for our nation!”

Paramedics treated Wilson on the scene for a minor head injury and first-degree burns.

The deadly explosion followed another life-threatening incident just two weeks ago at the Republican Party’s Hispanic 100 Awards Gala in Newport Beach. According to an event volunteer, Fiorina had been “slamming down tequila shots, trilling her tongue and shouting ‘Andale!’ in this really pathetic accent. Then she passed out. We thought she was dead at first. But, nope, she barfed and got up to dance.”

Republican Party insiders had purportedly been concerned about Fiorina’s “self-sabotaging behaviors” since she became an economic advisor to the 2008 McCain-Palin presidential campaign, which made Wall Street and CEO compensation reform key platform issues. Skydiving into a campaign event, Fiorina had become entangled in the lines of her golden parachute, preventing the chute from fully opening. Skydive experts at the time said she would have plunged to her death had she not had the presence of mind to pull the cord on her bonus chute. Still, she made a hard landing when she said Sarah Palin was unqualified to run a corporation, and the campaign fired her from the media circuit.

Although Fiorina’s tenure at Hewlett Packard was longer lived than her time on McCain’s campaign, she suffered a more devastating crash from HP and was eventually ranked by Portfolio magazine as one of the 20 worst CEOs ever:

“A consummate self-promoter, Fiorina was busy pontificating on the lecture circuit and posing for magazine covers while her company floundered. She paid herself handsome bonuses and perks while laying off thousands of employees to cut costs. The merger Fiorina orchestrated with Compaq in 2002 was widely seen as a failure. She was ousted in 2005. THE STAT: HP stock lost half its value during Fiorina’s tenure.”

Despite her very public HP failure — or perhaps because of it — Fiorina was determined to prove herself in the public arena, and Boxer’s senate seat became her next target. She reconciled with Palin, who endorsed her in the primary, when Fiorina depended on the conservative Republican vote to topple moderate Republican Tom Campbell.

But just last weekend, noting Palin’s sagging polling numbers, Fiorina declined to appear with her at a Republican event in California. Palin’s husband, Todd, subsequently leaked a scathing email:

“Sarah put her ass on the line for you, Curly [sic]. She thought you were the real deal. But you and me both know you’re no Joe Sixpack. All that crap about starting as a secretary. You pulled yourself up with your family’s gold plated bootstraps. And now you can’t answer a simple invitation with a yes? Please explain how this endorsement stuff works, is it to be completely one sided, cuz if so, you don’t have a wolf’s chance in Wasilla of getting a cabinet seat in Sarah’s administration. You think you can throw a punch, but my Sarah can take you out in one shot! From a helicopter!”

Fiorina’s past job performance was not her only weakness on the campaign trail. She was A-rated pro-life in a pro-choice state. She supported offshore drilling in an anti-drilling state. She supported Arizona’s anti-illegal immigration law in a state where 71 percent of Latino voters oppose it. And, in her op-ed piece announcing her campaign she highlighted her failure to exercise her right to vote: “Admittedly, I have not always been engaged in the electoral process, and I should have been.”

One of the few votes Fiorina reported casting was for California’s anti-same-sex marriage ballot measure, Proposition 8. That revelation, apparently intended to woo conservative voters, attracted the National Organization for Marriage, an anti-gay lobbying organization, which invested in anti-gay, pro-Fiorina advertising targeting Latino voters.

“Wouldn’t you know it!” said Juan Bautista, an independent gay voter, who was passing by Fiorina headquarters when the money bomb exploded. “One of the few times Fiorina bothered to vote, and it was for Prop. 8. What a poop she is, er, was. And the NOM ad, have you seen it? It’s pure manipulation. At least it’s not as bad as that pissy Sharron Angle ad telling Arizona Latinos not to vote at all. ¡Pendejos racistas!”

Most daunting of all Fiorina’s political challenges was her claim to be a jobs champion, which was contradicted by her corporate experience, noted for mass layoffs and outsourcing jobs overseas, strategies that have not been forgotten by California’s workforce.

Pedicab driver Bobby Sneed, who dropped off a fare just before the explosion, had little faith in Fiorina’s commitment to creating jobs for Californians.

“She laid me off from HP, shipped thousands of jobs overseas, and got a $45 million boot out the door. Now I’m essentially unemployed, she’s worth $120 million, and she was asking voters to give her money? Good lord! She wanted the senate badly enough, she should’ve just sucked it up and bought it, like Meg Whitman. Look, Fiorina soared to the corporate heights by whatever means she had at her disposal — and her dad’s telling her she’d never amount to anything surely motivated her — but she lacked the ability to translate her personal ambitions into a vision that captured the voter’s heart. And, I know it’s petty, but I couldn’t get beyond that snarl she was always trying to hide.”

Perhaps feminist activist Gloria Steinem captured the tormented essence of Carly Fiorina best, after Fiorina committed a live microphone faux pas in June:

“We had the prospective joy of two powerful women competing for a U.S. Senate seat. And in a moment of unintended, unedited honesty, what did we get from Fiorina? A pearl of wisdom? A poignant revelation? No. We got a snarky comment about Senator Boxer’s hair. That, Sweetie, is not feminism.”

Love,
K-B

©2010 Kit-Bacon Gressitt

Crossposted at The Progressive Post.

Note: Carly Fiorina image from Carly for California campaign ad; Carly punch, from Californians Opposed to Carly Fiorina Facebook page; Carly Out of Control from Carly for CA website.

Brian S. Brown, Executive Director
National Organization for Marriage
2029 K Street, NW, Suite 300
Washington, DC 2006

Dear Brian,

Say I marry my same-sex partner and we set up house in our little town. How will this harm the nice Christian folks across the street and their right to heterosexual marriage? Please be specific and factual in your response.

Your answer here:


















































Hmmm, you got nothing? OK, then.

Thanks and love,
K-B

P.S. Martin Luther King says your new ad befouls his name, and even Maine’s GOP candidate Reverend Brian Hale, who opposes same-sex marriage, says your message is inappropriate — his kid says it’s “really creepy.”

California gubernatorial candidate, billionaire and former eBay CEO Meg Whitman was killed Saturday in a gruesome accident at the San Diego Zoo Safari Park during a campaign event, bringing to an end a tough campaign and a tough corporate executive-turned-politician. She was 54.

The Republican candidate was torn asunder when she became entangled in the tether lines of two animals, an African elephant and a domestic donkey. The animals had been positioned for a photo opportunity at a Whitman rally that had attracted hundreds of gun rights and anti-illegal immigration activists, and a smattering of Chanel-clad businesswomen.

Park employee Juanita Calderon, a shaved-ice vendor and college student, recounted the horrific incident.

“Whitman is telling this crowd of white people that she doesn’t own a gun, but if she did, gun control fanatics would have to take it out of her cold, dead hands. And then all these people cheer, and some NRA nut — he’s wearing a t-shirt that says ‘You name it, I hunt it’ — he fires a shot in the air, and the elephant and the donkey go crazy! And Whitman is trying to placate them, but she’s caught in their ropes. And then, well, it was just horrible, really gross! And as security is carting the shooter off, he’s yelling, ‘It wasn’t me! It’s the gun’s fault — hair trigger! — the gun did it!’ And then the paramedics show up, but they just stand around kicking the Astroturf, because there’s really nothing they can do, because she’s, like, in pieces.”

The sudden end to Whitman’s campaign has left California Democrats stunned and relieved. Charles Garnier, a spokesperson for Jerry Brown, Democratic gubernatorial nominee and former Jesuit seminarian, said by phone that Brown was not available for comment, but offered the candidate’s condolences.

“He’s at church making a novena for her soul, and he sends his heartfelt condolences to her family and campaign staff. … Guess she won’t be a whore for the unions anymore, cutting deals for endorsements. Uh, hey! Am I still on the call? Oh, shi—! Hey man, don’t print that! What’s the real story here: Whitman’s swapping endorsements with unions to save their fat pensions while she cuts everyone else’s or my sexist comment? Well? Well? Oh, you guys’ll just go for the juice, but the union pension deals are the story. It’s the pension deals, you whores! But, no, Whitman won’t talk about that. She’ll just play the victim, like she’s never used the word herself. Whore, whore, whore! Oh, but, yeah, she’s dead. Never mind. Bye.”

As news of Whitman’s death reached the public, reactions revealed mixed opinions of her, her candidacy and her legacy — even at an impromptu memorial Saturday evening, outside her home in exclusive Atherton, California.

There, a consultant to California’s troubled Republican Party, who spoke on condition of anonymity from behind a hedgerow of oleanders, suggested Whitman’s faulty campaign was symbolic of the party’s schism between extreme conservatives and moderates.

“Meg didn’t understand how to finesse the duality of the party or of independent voters — she needed them most. But she tried to placate our loonies by opposing gay marriage, while she supported gay adoptions. She wanted to put limits on abortions, but she supported public funding. She hit her Republican primary opponent for supporting Democrats but she contributed to Senator Barbara Boxer and endorsed her in ’03. Meg was kind of bipolar, but voters are more schizophrenic, and she ended up antagonizing everyone. We all play to the factions, but she jumped in before she understood her target base. That kind of naïveté is as toxic as these oleanders. And, wow, quartered by an elephant and a donkey; it’s grotesquely poetic.”

Mourner and eBay Distinguished Engineer Mortimer Snerd begrudgingly acknowledged Whitman’s business acumen, but took issue with her forceful style.

“Yep, yep, she was a pretty good corporate leader type — except for the outsourcing and shady stock deals — sure enough. But she was always pushing people with her big CEO shove as though we were her puppets. May as well have tried putting a dictator in the governor’s seat. Yep, always pushing — just like Elaine on Seinfeld, except more hostile, and Meg danced pretty weird, too. Anyway, I guess someone finally pushed back, yep. Or, in this case, it was pulled back. That’d be Karma, for sure.”

Despite her critics, Whitman was widely recognized for her keen ability to acknowledge mistakes while shifting gears mid-spin. Her campaign staff began referring to her as the “Non Sequitur Nabob” when she became plagued with questions about her repeated failure to vote in public elections.

“I’m not proud of my voting record, and I have apologized for it, and tonight I apologize to everyone in California. It was not the right thing to do and no one is more embarrassed by it than me, and if I could change history, I would. But what I can do is tell voters about how I believe we can turn this state around. This state is in an enormous mess. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and hoping for different results.”

It is not yet clear if Whitman’s death will bring an end to the tenth-hour attack from publicist and attorney Gloria Allred, targeting Whitman’s illegal hiring and inopportune firing of an undocumented immigrant housekeeper. According to The Bay Citizen, a “very informal survey” of the “average Jo” on the street, conducted before Whitman’s death, revealed that “few people” had heard about the MegsMaidGate scandal — a very informal response rate that matched the number of respondents who had actually heard of Whitman, despite her substantial investment in her campaign.

Indeed, of the $138 million in expenditures reported by the campaign, $119 million came from Whitman’s personal fortune, a figure that seems to belie her statement at the September 28 debate between Whitman and Brown.

“I don’t think you can buy elections. I think Californians are too smart.”

Whatever Whitman’s ultimate legacy, her final gesture was one of generosity. A rumor that half of Whitman’s billion-dollar fortune will go to a new shelter for Atherton’s battered spouses and household employees was confirmed late last night by Atherton Mayor Kathy McKlite.

“You’d be surprised how much domestic violence our little community sees,” McKlite said by phone. “Abuse occurs in every socioeconomic category, but we really can’t expect our people to head to a shelter in Menlo Park! This bequest is a fitting legacy for Meg, given, well, things it’s not seemly to mention. Nonetheless, it’s wonderful to see some of Meg’s money go to a truly worthy cause!”

Love,
K-B

Note: October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. And you can help.

©2010 Kit-Bacon Gressitt

Crossposted at San Diego Gay and Lesbian News.

The catsup and voting record photos are from Meg 2010 Facebook page; the debate photo is from the UC Davis debate website.

By Kit-Bacon Gressitt

It all started with our wedding: the be-medaled uniforms on one side, the prochoice buttons on the other. … Nope, nope, it started with the intervention, the dinner at which my friends planned to confront the self-delusional rationalization that I, the leftwing columnist, had surely contrived for accepting the proposal of a Marine. A Marine colonel, no less. Problem was, it turned out they liked him.

And he met my political litmus tests: He’s prochoice, figures sexual orientation is irrelevant in battle, and actually gives thought to California’s unbridled ballot measures. Our marriage proceeded, and we’ve been playing house ever since, despite occasionally cancelling out each other’s votes.

Then, in 2008, Prop. 8 passed 52 to 48 percent, resulting in a state constitutional amendment that restricted marriage to opposite-sex couples, effectively prohibiting any new same-sex marriages in California and denying recognition of those from other states and nations.

My response was to staple a sign to our front gate above the Marine Corps welcome mat — “I DO Support the Freedom to Marry” — with heavy-duty staples, every other inch. Having lost a car window to someone peeved with the bumper sticker in it, I was determined that my next opponent would have to work a lot harder to remove my message.

My husband came home, and the conversation went something like this:

“See the sign?”

“Yep.”

“I’m keeping it up until same-sex marriage is secured for California.

“Yep.”

“Maybe all fifty states.”

“Yep. Want to go for sushi?”

As our collective social circle now says, he’s not bad for a Marine and I’m not bad for a liberal. We’re both pretty tolerant. Oh, he might wince when he brings Marines home to dinner, but he’d never ask me to take the sign down, and I always discretely seat our conservative guests with their backs to the liberal artwork on the dining room wall. Wouldn’t want to give them agita.

Then, a couple weeks ago, when Judge Vaughn Walker struck down Prop. 8 as unconstitutional, I contemplated what my next gate message might be. And when he announced last week that his temporary stay on the decision would be lifted August 18 (barring any interim action by the Appeals Court), I was vacillating between saving the 14^th Amendment right to citizenship for children of immigrants and protecting Afghan women from Taliban brutality.

But an email from Brian Brown of National Organization for Marriage hit my inbox and squelched my hopeful ruminations.

He claimed “the American people are furious” — furious! — with Walker, that his decisions have “ignited a firestorm.”

I did a quick check outside, because I live in Southern California and fires are not to be taken lightly here. Turns out Brown was misstating the situation. There wasn’t even a whiff of smoke in the air. However, he also reiterated NOM’s message that the purpose of marriage is procreation.

Now, this made me wonder, because my husband and I had both been to the Yankee Clipper prior to our marriage, which means we don’t meet NOM’s procreation criteria.

I mentioned this to my husband, and the conversation went something like this:

“Honey, according to NOM, you and I should not have been allowed to marry in California because we can’t procreate.”

“According to who?”

“National Organization for Marriage, NOM. They say the primary purpose of marriage is procreation.”

“They some kind of commies or something?”

“I love you, Honey.”

“Yep.”

In the end, I figure it’s like this: A Republican Marine and a Democratic feminist can agree that marriage is a civil right, to be enjoyed by everyone, and we’re just not that unusual. Remove the angry rhetoric from the debate, the fearful propaganda, and most folks will eventually join us.

Yep.

Love,
K-B

©2010 Kit-Bacon Gressitt

Crossposted at the Progressive Post and  Soulforce.

Equality California’s Win Marriage Back TV Ad Campaign

MAMMA, Middle-Aged Mothers for Marriage Equality, says sit your anti-same sex marriage friends down with a warm cookie and a cold glass of milk, and show them these videos. Then have a nice chat.

Michael and Javier

Frances and Cynthia

Ruben and Hector

From Faith In America

The Tradition and Sanctity of the Right to Marriage

“Traditional marriage” … “sanctity of marriage” … “protecting marriage.”

The next time you hear these phrases think code language – words or phrases that are used to conceal a hidden meaning or motive.

The motive of those who use these phrases is quite clear – they want to punish gay and lesbian citizens by denying not only their human dignity but their individual pursuit of happiness.

And why do they want to do that? Because their religious perspective is such that they see homosexuality as a sin, an abomination before God and therefore seeing a twisted moral appropriateness in rejecting, condemning and even discriminating against a minority group of Americans.

Some will even go as far as saying their opposition to marriage equality has nothing to with religion. That’s hardly the truth.

Everyone knows it’s all about religion — or certain church teaching to be more precise. All we have to do is take a look at the millions of dollars that the anti-gay religious establishment is pouring into Maine. It’s why those same anti-gay religious established have tried to organize North Carolina churches in support of writing discrimination into that state’s constitution.

There’s a reason why these anti-gay religious groups do not want you to think they are using your religion to oppose gay and lesbian citizens having the right to marry. It’s because religion has been misused many times in the past to deny minority groups their human dignity and equality and every time society in the end has rejected such religion-based bigotry and prejudice as wrong and morally corrupt.

And that really speaks to the crux of the anti-gay religious and political opposition to marriage equality for gay and lesbian citizens — forcing a majoritarian religious perspective on the lives of all Americans and using church teaching to look down on a particular segment of the population.

Fair-minded Americans, particularly those within faith communities, know how wrong that is.

People within faith communities understand this perhaps better than some because they are reminded every Sunday or Saturday as they sit among their Protestant, Catholic, Mormon, Muslim or Jewish peers. They understand the reason they are allowed to practice their various different forms of religious worship is because we do not live under a government that forces any particular religious belief on its citizens.

Societies have tried that before and some still do. When was the last time you met someone who wants to go live in countries ruled through theocracy.

The father of what we know as Protestantism today was Martin Luther, who challenged the majority position in his day that one state-sanctioned religious perspective should be forced upon all. Luther was not that far behind America’s founders who went to great lengths to make sure our Constitution clearly forbade the establishment of one religion over another.

History is full of examples of when majorities tried to use church teaching to justify treating others in hurtful and unkind ways.

Church teaching was used to mistreat African-Americans by promoting the notion that the Bible justified colonial and post-colonial slavery; it was used to justify saying different races should not marry; and it used to justify treating women as inferior.

And today, church teaching is again being used to look upon gay and lesbian individuals as unworthy and unequal and to deny them the human dignity of traversing life’s journey with a soulmate of their choosing.

The longest surviving tradition of marriage is having the freedom to experience life with a partner of your choosing. That is the sanctity of marriage. And it is that right which we as a society must protect.

But first, we have to make sure everyone is allowed to enjoy that right.

Learn more:

Whom God Hath Joined Together an essay by Bill Sinkford

Marriage: Who, What and Why? a sermon by Rev. Mark Gallagher

©2009 Faith In America