On Main Street

Fallbrookian 1: I was shopping for a new vacuum at Village Vac & Sew. Can you believe it? My husband was actually complaining about our crummy vacuum.
Fallbrookian 2: No kidding! … The world must be coming to an end.

On War and Peace

Jim: I read War and Peace in my 20s … actually, my 20s and 30s.

On the proposed Liberty Quarry

Opponent 1: The guy from the quarry was talking about all the things they were going to do for us, to protect wildlife, all the, ah, all the –
Opponent 2: All the bribes?

Read more Fallbrookisms…

By Kit-Bacon Gressitt

Poor Sarah Palin, erstwhile GOP vice presidential candidate and soon-to-be former governor of Alaska. We’ve been mean to her. Our hostility likely pushed her right out of her gubernatorial seat. What’s the poor thing going to do with herself now?

Um, write.

Indeed, Palin signed a contract in May with HarperCollins Publishers for the next public-figure-reveals-true-and-endearing-essence-of-self blockbuster, due in 2010 with some help from a ghostwriter. And Tuesday, she had an op-ed piece published in The Washington Post, “The Cap and Tax Dead End.”

I, myself, a lover of our wonderful nation of ours, and a benefitter of the energy-rich state of Palin’s hometown Alaska that could feed the many hungry markets of the lower forty-eight, would Alaska just get the go-ahead from Washington bureaucrats to start up those drills in that tiny corner up there of the wildlife refuge, because it is our patriotic duty to use the resources that God created right underfoot on American soil and, um … Where was that sentence going?

Oh, was that mean? OK, sorry, Sarah. It could be that I’m jealous: I don’t have a book deal with HarperCollins and I can write a proper sentence without a ghostwriter’s assistance. Neither has The Washington Post seen fit to publish my considered opinions, and I have plenty of them.

Nonetheless, that caveat offered, what I really meant to write was that I had no idea Palin could actually, well, write. Who knew?

Should I have deduced it from her self-description in a report on her book deal?

Being a voracious reader, I read a lot today and have read a lot growing up. And having that journalism degree, all of that, will be a great assistance for me in writing this book, talking about the challenges and the joys, balancing the work and parenting, and, in my case, work means running the state. … I’ve read a variety of books, and that helps shape my opinions and my views.

Her opinions and her views, hmm. How does she distinguish the two? And that journalism degree is actually in communications, with an emphasis on journalism. Such degrees are often a get-me-the-hell-out-of-college route for students with mediocre intellectual gifts or an abundance of distractions — in her case, perhaps both.

Oops, that was mean. I knew it as the letters appeared on my screen. Sorry, Sarah.

Anyway, I figured her op-ed piece would surely reveal her writing skills, her ability to grasp a complex concept, explain it to the average newspaper reader, and offer her studied opinion about its cause or a possible resolution. So I took a look at the piece.

She first tells us how worrisome the economy and unemployment are, and that the federal government continues to misbehave — ¡qué sorpresa!

There is no shortage of threats to our economy. America’s unemployment rate recently hit its highest mark in more than 25 years and is expected to continue climbing. Worries are widespread that even when the economy finally rebounds, the recovery won’t bring jobs. Our nation’s debt is unsustainable, and the federal government’s reach into the private sector is unprecedented.

Unfortunately, she never explains what she means by that last sentence, which left me imagining the government’s long arm up one of those short skirts of hers, but I figured her husband had already set that precedent.

Ooo, I know — mean, mean, mean! Sorry, Sarah!

Next, she repeats her complaint that the media attack her when they should be focusing on the grave challenges of our day, but then I questioned why she keeps bringing it up — maybe she’s being coy?

Unfortunately, many in the national media would rather focus on the personality-driven political gossip of the day than on the gravity of these challenges. So, at risk of disappointing the chattering class, let me make clear what is foremost on my mind and where my focus will be: I am deeply concerned about President Obama’s cap-and-trade energy plan, and I believe it is an enormous threat to our economy.

I had to give her negative points for revisiting her standard social slur, class, but I was encouraged that she was poised to explain the concept of cap-and-trade policy for pollution management and how it could threaten us.

It would undermine our recovery over the short term and would inflict permanent damage. … [I]n Alaska, we understand the inherent link between energy and prosperity, energy and opportunity, and energy and security. Consequently, many of us in this huge, energy-rich state recognize that the president’s cap-and-trade energy tax would adversely affect every aspect of the U.S. economy.

So, she tells us the Obama policy is a threat because it will damage us, she touts Alaska — a favorite non sequitor of hers — and then she repeats her accusation sans substantiation. Alas, she explains nothing.*

Uh-oh, I guess that was mean, too. Again, sorry, Sarah.

She goes on to write that Obama’s plan would create job loss and higher prices for just about everything, but she doesn’t say how, she doesn’t cite any analyses, she doesn’t say nada, although she does deliver a divisive little wedge into the festering gap between liberals and conservatives:

The ironic beauty in [Obama’s energy] plan? Soon, even the most ardent liberal will understand supply-side economics.

Of course, Palin has not demonstrated any understanding of economics — and I think she’s being a little mean to liberals. Nonetheless, I read a bit more, looking for her fix for the disaster she foresees.

We must move in a new direction. We are ripe for economic growth and energy independence if we responsibly tap the resources that God created right underfoot on American soil. … In Alaska … our 3,000-mile natural gas pipeline will transport hundreds of trillions of cubic feet of our clean natural gas to hungry markets across America. We can safely drill for U.S. oil offshore and in a tiny, 2,000-acre corner of the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge if ever given the go-ahead by Washington bureaucrats.

Of course, Alaska is not the sole source of American energy. Many states have abundant coal, whose technology is continuously making it into a cleaner energy source. Westerners literally sit on mountains of oil and gas, and every state can consider the possibility of nuclear energy.

And then I got it!

It doesn’t matter that she doesn’t draw a path to her new direction, that she doesn’t explain how we can safely drill offshore as our weather becomes more extreme, that she offers no recipe for responsibly devouring all the coal and gas and oil God planted right under our ripe feet, that she fails to address the realities of permitting and developing fifty prospective nuclear power plants; none of that matters, because what she’s actually trying to do here is comedy!

Yep, it is absolutely clear that Sarah confused The Washington Post with The Capitol Steps, and sent off her satire to the wrong recipient.

Hmm, was that mean? I don’t think so. Being a voracious reader, I’ve read a variety of things about Sarah, and that helps shape my opinions and my views of her. And, like Sarah, I’m OK with that.

Love,
K-B

* “Cap-and-trade” policies establish pollutant caps (limits) and allow a polluting business that reduces its emission of a pollutant below the cap to sell (trade) the difference (credit) to another company, which then factors the credit into its effort to achieve the cap.

©2009 Kit-Bacon Gressitt

By Kit-Bacon Gressitt

Yesterday morning, I sat at my desk, committed to adding 2,000 words to my mediocre American novel manuscript, but I just wanted to clear out my emails before getting started.

The first one asked me to save newborn buffalo, but I didn’t want to think about their wobbly little legs, shattered in a stampeding frenzy.

Then Amazon suggested, based on my previous purchases, that I might like to order John Stossel’s “Politically Incorrect Guide to Politics,” except what Amazon doesn’t know is that Stossel kind of gives me the creeps.

I could have read a joke about $7 sex, and my husband has been traveling a lot lately, so I did, and then I thought maybe I shouldn’t have, but it was too late.

I could also have read an analysis of the poll to which 66 percent of women responded that being a mother is women’s most important role, but it smacked of some sort of confused misogyny.

Facebook sent me a birthday notice for someone I don’t know but whom I mistakenly approved as a friend before I figured out Facebook, but Facebook annoys me, so I deleted it.

I could have looked at what Verizon is charging to my credit card, but the purpose of automatic payments is to avoid acknowledging how much all this great technology costs.

The definition and etymology of “dissimulate” was enticing, and because I love words, I opened it, and now I fully intend to use “dissimulate” in my 2,000 words. I am not dissimulating.

There was another Facebook request, from another stranger who wanted to be my friend, but I’ve learned that lesson well.

Salon.com sent an article about the state politics of stem cell research, but I figure with Barack Obama in the presidency, and my cells in California, I don’t have to worry about it.

Someone forwarded a poem called “Crowning,” published in The New Yorker, and, because it was a poem and in The New Yorker, I read it and it was lovely, and then I was surprised that I was surprised it was by a male poet. I’m a pig.

The Publishers Marketplace wanted to report all the new book deals this week, but I didn’t get a deal, so I didn’t open it, although I’ll try to be pleased for the writers who did. Bastards.

Composer and violinist Mark O’Connor wanted me to buy his Americana Symphony CD but, although I love his work, the economy is “not getting worse as quickly,” so I didn’t.

Message!Products was pitching a sale — 25 percent off — but I just replenished my pro-choice checks, so I didn’t bite, but I did wonder why they always announce a sale just after I’ve received my order.

I didn’t want to plod through a Human Security News report because I didn’t want to know about the dozens killed in Mogadishu, the 700 militants killed in Pakistan, the 106 children who died in shelling in Sri Lanka, the 50 people hospitalized after a girls’ school poisoning in Afghanistan, the 49 killed in Sudanese tribal violence, or the political prisoners suffering ill health in Myanmar (it’s really Burma), presumably including Nobel Peace Prize recipient Aung San Suu Kyi. OK, I peeked, and it was exactly the agonizing news I expected.

I blew my nose and considered activating my life by buying active wear shoes from zappos.com, but I have a pair of sneakers that has lasted seven years because I am not an active person.

The National Abortion Rights Action League (NARAL) asked me to contribute to its effort to replace retiring Supreme Court Justice Souter with a pro-choice nominee, but President Obama’s head is screwed on straight and NARAL is just trying to keep up with the anti-choice opposition to a pro-choice nominee. Of course the complacency of majority is ill advised, so I reconsidered briefly, until I remembered the economy.

I could have read STRATFOR’s editorial on The Strategic Debate Over Afghanistan, but I’d had enough frustrating news for one day, so I didn’t, although I did feel a little guilty about that one, which resurrected the threat to the baby buffalo and their wobbly little legs, and then I was swamped by a swell of guilt.

So, I rescued the National Resources Defense Council email from death by deletion, clicked to save the newborn bison and read all about their terrible plight, and I wondered if I could work baby bison into my 2,000 pages.

But then I got another email, asking me to ask President Obama to put an end to the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy for gays in the military, a policy akin to sanctioned lying, so I had to respond to that one, and then — oops, another email.

Love,
K-B

©2009 Kit-Bacon Gressitt

(Editor’s Note: This piece is cross-posted with www.ivorytowerz.com.)

(Photo by Jim Bowen via a Creative Commons License.)