Gifts for homophobes we know and love despite themselves

Here are a few options for opening their eyes in the spirit of the season.

CRISIS: 40 Stories Revealing the Personal, Social, and Religious Pain and Trauma of Growing Up Gay In America

Edited by Mitchell Gold

With a unique blend of up-close and personal stories from some very public individuals and from middle America teens, philanthropist and longtime human rights advocate Mitchell Gold exposes the silent epidemic in growing up gay in America.

Angels in America

Written by Tony Kushner, Directed by Mike Nichols

HBO’s film adaptation of Tony Kushner’s award-winning play, Angels in America is an “astonishing mix of philosophy, politics” and living gay in the Reagan era. Starring Al Pacino, Meryl Streep and Emma Thompson. Available on DVD.

Prayers for Bobby: A Mother’s Coming to Terms with the Suicide of her Gay Son

By Leroy Aarons

Based on a true story, Prayers for Bobby portrays the Griffith family’s struggle to adjust to a gay teen son, Bobby, amid his mother’s belief that God will “cure” him. For Bobby, suicide is the resolution; for his mother, finding faith in unconditional love is the cure. Prayers for Bobby might enlighten parents who believe God condemns their homosexual children — and it could save a child’s life. MAMMA says give unconditional love a chance. The book is available in paperback.

Prayers for Bobby

Based on a true story, Prayers for Bobby portrays the Griffith family’s struggle to adjust to a gay teen son, Bobby, amid his mother’s belief that God will “cure” him. For Bobby, suicide is the resolution; for his mother, finding faith in unconditional love is the cure.

Prayers for Bobby might enlighten parents who believe God condemns their homosexual children — and it could save a child’s life. MAMMA says give unconditional love a chance.

The book is available in paperback and the movie, currently unavailable for purchase, can be seen on youtube.com, in nine segments.

Learn more about the story at Lifetime.com.

And, thanks to MAMMA Kim for the heads up.

Vote No on 1 — Protect Marriage Equality in Maine

Brian S. Brown, Executive Director

National Organization for Marriage

20 Nassau Street, Suite 242

Princeton, NJ 08542

bbrown@nationformarriage.org

Dear Mr. Brown,

Please leave us alone. We in Maine are fiercely independent folk, and most of us believe in a participatory democracy. We attend town hall meetings, yell at one another with gusto, and come out hugging. We run our towns and our churches that way (if only the rest of our country would follow suit) and we produce such oddball phenomena as a Republican senator who votes for healthcare reform. (We are so proud of her) We individually wrestle with, and think through issues independent of party lines, the politics we grew up with, or what Joe down the road thinks.

I sat in a class of ministry students the other night, in which the planned topic of conversation, once again, was tabled, because current events issues once again, seemed more important. Once again, we discussed, at a well-imformed and learned level, and in a very loving atmosphere, the topic of legal marriage in our state of Maine. As we near the election, it is, of course, on our minds more and more. We had all listened to and participated in discussions in the workplace, at the dinner table and in the post office. We had all read editorials, Scripture, and poorly written emails. We had all prayed. We had all decided how to vote. A lot of us had already voted by absentee ballot.We all agreed that this is a critically important issue. We did NOT agree on how to vote; in fact, we were split about 50/50. We did, however, agree that we would like national organizations to (forgive me) BUTT OUT!!!

Please, Mr. Brown, leave us alone!

Sincerely,

Hunt Gressitt

Blue Hill, Maine

Mainer and WWII veteran Philip Spooner speaks for marriage equality

Support the No on 1 campaign at Protect Maine Equality.

A Gem from Keith Olbermann

Keith’s Worst Person in the World is probably for friendly audiences only — but it is darn satisfying. Thanks to Mamma Kim for sharing!

Equality California’s Win Marriage Back TV Ad Campaign

MAMMA, Middle-Aged Mothers for Marriage Equality, says sit your anti-same sex marriage friends down with a warm cookie and a cold glass of milk, and show them these videos. Then have a nice chat.

Michael and Javier

Frances and Cynthia

Ruben and Hector

From Faith In America

The Tradition and Sanctity of the Right to Marriage

“Traditional marriage” … “sanctity of marriage” … “protecting marriage.”

The next time you hear these phrases think code language – words or phrases that are used to conceal a hidden meaning or motive.

The motive of those who use these phrases is quite clear – they want to punish gay and lesbian citizens by denying not only their human dignity but their individual pursuit of happiness.

And why do they want to do that? Because their religious perspective is such that they see homosexuality as a sin, an abomination before God and therefore seeing a twisted moral appropriateness in rejecting, condemning and even discriminating against a minority group of Americans.

Some will even go as far as saying their opposition to marriage equality has nothing to with religion. That’s hardly the truth.

Everyone knows it’s all about religion — or certain church teaching to be more precise. All we have to do is take a look at the millions of dollars that the anti-gay religious establishment is pouring into Maine. It’s why those same anti-gay religious established have tried to organize North Carolina churches in support of writing discrimination into that state’s constitution.

There’s a reason why these anti-gay religious groups do not want you to think they are using your religion to oppose gay and lesbian citizens having the right to marry. It’s because religion has been misused many times in the past to deny minority groups their human dignity and equality and every time society in the end has rejected such religion-based bigotry and prejudice as wrong and morally corrupt.

And that really speaks to the crux of the anti-gay religious and political opposition to marriage equality for gay and lesbian citizens — forcing a majoritarian religious perspective on the lives of all Americans and using church teaching to look down on a particular segment of the population.

Fair-minded Americans, particularly those within faith communities, know how wrong that is.

People within faith communities understand this perhaps better than some because they are reminded every Sunday or Saturday as they sit among their Protestant, Catholic, Mormon, Muslim or Jewish peers. They understand the reason they are allowed to practice their various different forms of religious worship is because we do not live under a government that forces any particular religious belief on its citizens.

Societies have tried that before and some still do. When was the last time you met someone who wants to go live in countries ruled through theocracy.

The father of what we know as Protestantism today was Martin Luther, who challenged the majority position in his day that one state-sanctioned religious perspective should be forced upon all. Luther was not that far behind America’s founders who went to great lengths to make sure our Constitution clearly forbade the establishment of one religion over another.

History is full of examples of when majorities tried to use church teaching to justify treating others in hurtful and unkind ways.

Church teaching was used to mistreat African-Americans by promoting the notion that the Bible justified colonial and post-colonial slavery; it was used to justify saying different races should not marry; and it used to justify treating women as inferior.

And today, church teaching is again being used to look upon gay and lesbian individuals as unworthy and unequal and to deny them the human dignity of traversing life’s journey with a soulmate of their choosing.

The longest surviving tradition of marriage is having the freedom to experience life with a partner of your choosing. That is the sanctity of marriage. And it is that right which we as a society must protect.

But first, we have to make sure everyone is allowed to enjoy that right.

Learn more:

Whom God Hath Joined Together an essay by Bill Sinkford

Marriage: Who, What and Why? a sermon by Rev. Mark Gallagher

©2009 Faith In America

Repeal Prop. 8 in 2010 or 2012?

California advocates and pundits are deep in debate over when to attempt to repeal California Prop. 8, in 2010 or 2012. The anti-same-sex marriage initiative passed in November 2008 with 52.3 percent of the vote. Then the California Supreme Court heard a challenge to the measure.  And, while the Court was making its unhappy decision to uphold California’s gay marriage ban, Iowa, Maine and Vermont said go for it. Go figure.

So, now we need to determine a strategy for returning the right to Californians, and it’s proving a challenge despite other states’ success. The following links will take you to a variety of news coverage and opinion about when to pursue equal marriage rights for same-sex couples in California.

While MAMMA believes Prop. 8 was hit with the stupid stick, we also encourage the kiddies to measure twice, cut once.

2010? 2012? The Fight in California Continues

By Amita Parashar, Advocate.com
27 July 2009

Prop. 8 Opponents Mull 2010 Campaign

By Nathan Black, The Christian Post
28 July 2009

Repeal Prop 8 Leadership Summit: The Expert Point of View

By Karen Ocamb, The Bilerico Project
28 July 2009

Gays squabble over Prop 8 repeal debate

By Seth Hemmerlgarn, Bay Area Reporter
30 July 2009

Advisers urge foes of Prop. 8 not to rush

By John Marelius, San Diego Union-Tribune
03 August 2009

Repeal Prop. 8 in 2010

By Love Honor Cherish

Maine’s Same-sex Marriage Threatened with Repeal; a Mainiac’s Response

Excerpt from a National Organization for Marriage letter:

Dear Friend of Marriage,

Here’s great news on the marriage front: The people of Maine are going to have the final word on marriage! In just four short weeks, tens of thousands of Maine friends and neighbors signed petitions insisting on the right to repeal Maine’s hastily enacted gay marriage statute.

The National Organization for Marriage worked hard with StandforMarriageMaine to make this happen. But it could not have happened without your help! You are the ones who made this happen… and we need you to help secure this victory. Can you help us with $10, $25, or $100 so that Maine — and our country — can recover the true meaning of marriage?

The people of Maine will vote in November. Meanwhile the gay marriage statute, which would have gone into effect Sept. 12, will be put on mothballs pending the outcome of the vote. Another victory for you — for democracy — for the common good — for common sense!

It’s going to be a big fight in Maine; we understand that. But if you will help, together we can show the naysayers and the doomsday predictors that even in blue states like Maine, the American people do not want judges and politicians messing around with marriage. …

God bless,
Brian S. Brown
Executive Director
bbrown@nationformarriage.org

And a response from my dear, darling Mainiac sister:

Dear NOM,

I am always very uncomfortable with the fact that so many folks from outside of Maine seem to want to come into Maine and tell us what we think. We actually do very well when left to our own devices.

We have made great progress to assure the sacred bonds of marriage are available to all who want to sanctify their life commitments. Then out-of-state people have come in and deliberately propagandized a petition in order to confuse Maine voters into voting the opposite of their intentions: If the out-of-state petitioners are successful in getting their petition on our ballot, a “Yes” vote will indicate you oppose same-sex marriage, while a “No” vote will mean you support our law which allows same-sex marriage.*

Make no mistake: The majority of Mainers made it clear that those who wish to make a public ceremonial acknowledgement of their commitment to one another, with all of the rights and privileges that entails, should be able to do so without restriction in our state.

We would have a much better chance of providing what the people of this state truly want if we could just get the well-meaning folks from out of state to keep their politics out of state and let us do the right thing unencumbered.

Sincerely,
Hunt Gressitt
Mainer

*If NOM’s petition is successful, the question on the November ballot will read: “Do you want to reject the new law that lets same-sex couples marry and allows individuals and religious groups to refuse to perform these marriages?”

A majority “Yes” vote would repeal the law, prohibiting same-sex marriage in Maine. A majority “No” vote would uphold the current law, which allows same sex marriage in Maine and also allows individuals and churches to refuse to perform such marriages.

Learn more at Maine Freedom to Marry and the Religious Coalition for the Freedom to Marry in Maine.

(Photo from Maine Freedom to Marry.)

When James Leaves

By Carrie

When James leaves Fallbrook, what memories will he retain of our “friendly village”? He likes to say that he hasn’t been taught the three Rs in school, but, instead, the three Ks — Klu Klux Klan. I know I’ve learned that if tolerance is a Christian virtue, Fallbrook is not a Christian community.

When James leaves, we no longer will need a trace on our phone to stop the incessant calls that jar us awake in the middle of the night.

“Is James there? No? Well, tell him Big Mike called. Big Mike with the big dick.” Screams of laughter before the phone hangs up.

We will no longer have harassers calling again and again while we’re eating dinner, not saying anything, or moaning.

When James leaves, we won’t have to wash the car everyday. We are tired of wiping off the words “Die faggot,” “Queer,” “Fudge-packer” and “Butt-pirate,” written in felt marker or dust on the car. We won’t have to alternate which car he drives, to keep it from being keyed, to protect him from being ambushed.

When James leaves, my younger son, Mark, might have an easier time at school. Perhaps the student body will suffer memory loss, and he will no longer be tripped, called names and asked if his older brother comes into his room at night and screws him.

When James leaves, I will not have to go to the sheriff’s office with death threats that have been left on our car. Notes that read “Die, you fucking queer. We don’t like yo’ kind ‘round here. I’m going to kill you and shit on your face.”

I won’t have to watch the officer, smelling of body odor and alcohol, look up at me and ask, “Why do they think he’s a fag?”

“Because he is — gay, that is.”

I won’t have to watch the cop straighten his shoulders with a macho shake and say, “Well, I don’t have a problem with them, as long as they don’t come on to me.” As if anyone would come on to this smelly, unshaven officer of the law.

I won’t have to listen to reassurances by him and others that I needn’t worry about it, because, after all, they’re just kids, just messing around.

When James leaves, he’ll attend a university in a metropolitan area with a greater mix of ethnic and social groups than in this little town. He’ll escape a school system where he was beaten up and knocked unconscious in gym class; held down and punched repeatedly on the arm until he repeated ten fruits; told by his teachers that his “odd” voice could be corrected by a speech therapist; called names between each of his classes and during assemblies when receiving awards.

I’m not saying that when he leaves Fallbrook he won’t be harassed again. Homophobia is too rampant for that. But at least in a larger, dare I say more liberal, community, he’ll find more people who will support him, who will accept him.

When James leaves, perhaps lost friends will acknowledge me again. Maybe I’ll be able to walk by people I’ve known for fifteen years and not see them avert their eyes. Not that I want to know them anymore.

I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive this town for making me look forward to when James leaves.

Remember kiddos, MAMMA says talk about same-sex marriage every chance you get!

Thanks to MAMMA Kim for this entertaining speech by  …

Patricia Clarkson at the 2009 Human Rights Campaign Dinner

The Violets in the Mountains Have Broken the Rocks

President Barack Obama on Federal Benefits for Same-sex Couples

Wrongs We Intend to Right Today

And, MAMMA Says Yippee!

2010 Census Will Count Same-sex Couples

Wall Street Journal article from 19 June

Huffington Post article from 19 June